For the dynamic destructibles you might want to pester some library developers who have the dedication for that type of stuff. There's also an indie dev by the name of Owen Deery who has a custom built engine with destruction in it, so maybe asking there could lead somewhere.
Modders may take up the challenge if there's enough of a stub for mesh fracturing dynamics or something like that and then begin expanding on that. Modders are usually motivated by changing or mixing existing core structures in a game or a series of games, so maybe you have to make it somehow compelling enough of a vision to negotiate the terms that way.
I hope that you can make it happen ๐
EDIT: couple words