Lack of motivation, bad moments

I break everything down to the smallest possible next step. Then just think about that and forget about the rest. I don't get a lot done, but at least I get something done that way. You are always going to go through that after the initial start because it sets in how much work it is. Try to keep your starting projects small, also. Easier said than done, though. They always balloon into these huge projects. And you kind of get this idea in your head that you should just be motivated to keep at it, but generally, you aren't going to feel motivated and have to kind of push yourself to at least do a little bit. It's also not the end of the world to quit and start another project. If you do it too much, you get nothing done, but sometimes you find out it's not working out the way you wanted to and it's kind of stupid to keep going with it.

There is a method they use in Japan called Kaizen. It literally means "improvement" but the idea is that you commit to doing just one small thing each day. Like if you want to brush your teeth, commit to brushing one tooth. Don't say you're going exercise for 45 minutes, commit to doing 1 push-up. Cause this is mentally easier to process. Of course, it's fine if you do just 1 push-up, but once you start maybe you'll do a couple more. Either way, it doesn't matter. As long as you are doing something, it doesn't matter how small. But it also okay to take a few days off if you're feeling bad. That's natural and a lot of people have that.

cybereality Everybody processes their emotions differently and it's about finding that personal sweet spot. Totally fine to be doing baby steps, that's pretty sensible, as it turns out I'm something of a lunatic where if I'm lacking motivation I sometimes make myself play games that I absolutely despise ( Recently it was GTA V Online ) and the anger fuels me into my projects because I can't stand the thought of playing these garbage games any longer lol.

I found some reading about game development recently that changes all my process of thinking and development that help a lot.
Before, I just start building with an ideia in head and goal, press the time and hours to have results in the predicted time, and get sad when it didnt work ( never worked really ), what is frustrating because it works in any other dev area.

This new way of working has 2 main phases :

Phase1: Alpha
1) Start your project focusing in a "Alpha demo phase" stage of the game, this is your goal, to make a general ideia of your game, with the basic feeling of playing and basic mechanics, to work fine enough for you to say, ok, thats good and its a project.
2) The time you will spend in this is not important, and it can be very small like a day, or years, it depends of what you want to do.
2) In this phase, you dont put a time goal, you take any time you want, and it should not block you from trying to make another projects, meaning if you do this, you probably will have several "started projects" that is just waiting to continue when you decide to do it, and lots of abandoned idea/projects.
3) Also means that you may abandon most of those projects because you didnt get satisfied with the results, or performance was not ok, or it was too hard to do, too much time consuming, etc
4) But, once you get this demo working, then you start phase 2.

Phase2: Commitment
1) On Phase 2, now its different, you need to plan a project much like any other, with prediction on what you want to implement with time and effort factors, you already have your game, the ideia already works, so now you just need to add content, like maps, game modes, polishiment, etc. The idea is that in this phase the game is alive now, and you need to plan what you will do in sequence ( or parallel if in team ), how may days/hours for each task for all the content you plan to add.
2) Its important to be professional here, to avoid adding more than you plan at start or keeping content behind because you dont have time etc.
3) Polishiment is important in this phase, and I could not decide yet if its possible to have a factor for different kind of games, but I am currently using 50% of the time on phase2 for polishnment.

I found that working that way to be much less stressful and get better results. There are a lot of reading about this process of thinking also.
Another thing is that, game dev should not be your main source of leaving if you are starting, otherwise it will be very frustating since the income will be low.

One thing that makes this process necessary is that game dev is not dev, the dev word is misleading actually because most games are, in some cases 90% art and not developnment, its very hard to find a game that has less time/effort in art then dev, and it requires much more art thinking then programming or computer understanding, and mixing those completely different ways of thinking/work is hard.

zerohootsoliver as an autistic myself, i feel that. I also have waves of intense hyperfocus/hyperlexia (i spent yesterday drawing clothes to put in the closets of my game) and waves of intense "I can't do this anymore" (executive functioning drop).

My horror project has been going on for a year - it's come far but i'd be lying if i said i was always pulled towards it. Game dev is tough. It's why not everyone does it.

I do my best, at times like this, to find smaller points to polish in my project. Basically, just put something on the board. Whether its reformatting some graphics, tweaking some shaders, fixing some bugs - every little chisel will get you closer to your work becoming complete.

Essentially - don't be too hard on yourself. Take a breath, take some time without any sensory input around (or if you're a seeker like me, drown yourself in it) and wait until you get your spoons back before picking up the project again.

this is a wild guess but I think you need a second hobby that's not game dev related. something that lets you feel like you're making progress without having to open up your game creator of choice. that little voice in your head telling you to work on that thing you don't wanna do's a lot quieter when you're busy with something wholly unrelated but still productive.

actually a lot of people who work in software professionally have analog hobbies like knitting or hiking for this exact reason

zerohootsoliver I go thru phases like this. What helps is to realize it's a just a phase, you just have to wait for it to pass. (and recognize that another bad phase will happen, and it too will pass)

In addition, what helps me is to-do lists. It may seem lame, but making lists of everything I need to do (not just programming) and checking those things off helps me feel less overwhelmed. When I'm in a negative phase, I often feel like "I didn't get anything done today", but when I look at my list, I see a bunch of checkmarks. I may not have gotten to the things I really wanted to do, but I did the things I had to do.

zerohootsoliver I severely ruminate and invent new things that worry me

Do you find yourself asking internal questions such as "What if?"

Imagine you're a movie maker. What type of movie would you want to create? A scary one or a funny one?

One thing is for sure: you're really good at making scary movies. And that's a good thing, not because of the scary part, but because you're great at making captivating movies in your mind. Even if you think you can't control it at first.

Now, think about this: you can also make funny movies. Just take a moment to consider it. Write it down somewhere so you don't forget that you're awesome at creating all sorts of movies.

Good luck!