Interesting situation: What will my last project be.

jbskaggsjbskaggs Posts: 647Member

I have been making games and tinkering with game making since the 1980's.

I have reached a point where I want to finish some projects. The problem is I have terminal cancer and estimated life expectancy is in days to maybe a year or so- (cancer is weird and you really cant predict how long) . I am now on hospice with more time on my hands than ever before.

The problem though is the current game I am almost 2/3's done, isnt the game I want to be my last project. But I dont know if I have time to finish one of my more desirable projects or if I want to just finish this one. As I am essentially a 1 man studio I have to create my assets, designs, code myself and this reduces my time budget even more.

I am just curious what would you do in my situation? Finish what you have, or pursue one of your more desirable projects?

Comments

  • MegalomaniakMegalomaniak Posts: 4,430Admin

    Well, it's no place of mine to tell you what to do, but I'd probably opt to finish the one and consider then what else could be done with it perhaps.

  • newmodelsnewmodels Posts: 483Member

    An option could be to finish the quickest project first. But this is only something to put into your pro and con.

  • bunnydefluffbunnydefluff Posts: 54Member

    Sorry to hear that OP. I would just do what I like the most without thinking about finishing it or anything. Things will be finished the moment I let it go and never look at it again.

  • Erich_LErich_L Posts: 591Member

    @jbskaggs said:
    The problem is I have terminal cancer

    Problems? Turn that problem into lemonade. Use it mate. Work on something that lets you reflect on your life, use the opportunity to face some things or truths you didn't want to before. If it were me I'd pour the seriousness of the situation into my work: a man lying on a hospice bed who's revisiting the pivotal moments of his life.
    Or you could enjoy some humor, take what you see around you and make one of those silly simulator games like: Hospice Simulator. That idea makes me cringe but hey- people in the US usually are afraid to talk about or confront death.
    Then there's the whole family angle. If you have a son or something who's been waiting for you to finish his favorite game, I mean that's a slam dunk right there. If you don't have a son, from what I can tell, you might still have time. <3
    And last I suppose there's always the self preservation angle. The person who got me interested in programming invested huge amounts of time and resources using his expertise to help in aids research for altruistic.. but also very personal reasons.
    But at the end of the day if working on these projects isn't what you want to do with your time, don't feel bad if you don't write another line of code you're just gunna have to refactor a month from now.

  • TwistedTwiglegTwistedTwigleg Posts: 5,251Admin

    So sorry to hear that OP!
    What I would recommend is following your heart and doing what you feel is right! I would trust your gut and go with the choice that you think is best and pursue that. I have found that, with very few exceptions, trusting yourself and going with what you feel is the right choice almost always is best.

    If you want to work on a different project, then I would suggest you do that! I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to make a new project, even if you have another 2/3 complete. Likewise, if you feel finishing the project would be best, getting it finished and then working on another project after that, then I'd go for that instead!
    Ultimately, I think you should pursue what you think is best and what you'd enjoy doing the most, whatever that might be.

  • cyberealitycybereality Posts: 3,792Moderator

    Really sorry about the situation. I would recommend not getting attached to finishing anything. Work on your dream project, even if you know it can't be finished. Post about the development, like post a screenshot on Twitter every day with the progress of the project. And maybe once a week do a YouTube video with you playing the game. That way you can be producing content and it will keep you motivated and allow people to see what you are doing. And even if you don't finish it, you can have a good time working on it and still have something to show for posterity.

  • fire7sidefire7side Posts: 443Member

    Making games is completely unimportant in the whole scheme of things. For me, it's a way to kill some time. If someone enjoys playing it that's a plus, but still unimportant.

  • newmodelsnewmodels Posts: 483Member

    I would also visit church. Maybe watch some online priests or T.V.

  • cyberealitycybereality Posts: 3,792Moderator

    I would also recommend reading this book. It's only 50 pages, a short read but will change your life.
    https://www.amazon.com/Dissolve-Problem-Shifting-Physical-Reality-ebook/dp/B01FBE5XZ6

    Richard Dotts is one of the most important authors of our time. After reading it, you might realize you don't even have to finish the game at all and maybe still be at peace. I think it's very worthwhile to check it out, his books have helped me a lot.

  • ksuboxksubox Posts: 7Member

    My wife had similar problem more than 20 years ago. But we decided don't do any "official" radio/chemo/... therapy, because we new - it will just prolong life a little. We stuck to orthodox church (visited every week liturgy and received communion) and try this and that. My wife had strong weakness, so it was very hard to go to church, but we did. Then she kept complete fast for more than 20 days - only use Christmas holy water I brought from church - she lost muscles, but feel better. Then she tried Maya Gogulan recommendation - so-so.

    And finally we got very simple recipe - 30ml of vodka (40%) + 30ml of nonfiltered cold pressed sunflower oil. Mix, shake 5 min or more, drink (before drink don't eat and don't drink for 2 hours), wait for 20 min and eat what you can (buckwheat is best + some vegetables). And do it with 5 hours interval 3 time a day. 10 days drink - 5 days break - 10 days drink - 5 days break - 10 days drink - 14 days break => full cycle. And continue this cycle for many years. One important thing - sunflower oil should not have any "poisons", better to be organic and should have many linoleic fatty acid, alpha-tocopherol, and phosphates. You can find about this method here: https://sites.google.com/site/nvshevchenko1/
    This guy is Russian, but you can translate with https://translate.google.com.
    One disadvantage of this method - you have to keep diet - mostly buckwheat and vegetables. Avoid fried food. Avoid fat food. Don't use alcohol. Don't have stress (even from hot or cold weather). And don't use any drugs/injections, especially against cancer - it's poison.

    My wife still live and we also tested this method with my father - he had intestines cancer, so we forced him to use. And he came back to work. Felt good for 2 years (even cancer was not disappeared - just size decreased). Then he become tired of drinking this mix and keeping diet and decided to make chemo injection. Within 3 month after injection he passed away. So chemo therapy is very poisoned...
    10 years ago I also had problem with heart, so couldn't sleep and started to drink 2 times a day. Since that even my heart is not strong I can sleep and work (not only with comp). On that site you can read a lot of positive feedback mails from other people who had different types of cancer even in terminal stage. They even drop pain relievers.

    And one most important thing - to live you should have reason. In our case we had 2 children and can't imagine the would be orphans. Also in our world only God gives us live - only He can give us chance if we ask Him not for our pleasure but to serve to other people.

    Excuse me for this long post. I wish you spiritual and physical health.

  • Erich_LErich_L Posts: 591Member
    edited November 2021

    @ksubox said:
    Then she kept complete fast for more than 20 days - only use Christmas holy water I brought from church - she lost muscles, but feel better.

    I don't know nothin about much, but over a few boring days with my father we watched like four documentaries on fasting: some of the results were amazing, especially after the tests on rats. I had to look it up to see if I was remembering it right: https://news.usc.edu/29428/fasting-weakens-cancer-in-mice/. There's even like fasting retreats I saw: there's one in Russia and one in Germany. Next marriage if I want to see if things will last I'll take her there and see if we make it out.

  • cyberealitycybereality Posts: 3,792Moderator

    I don't know much about cancer specifically, but I have seen articles about how recently they have found that some of these old tribal natural medicine recipes actually work, even though modern science thought they were bogus for hundreds of years. So I do think there is a lot of stuff that could work that might be outside of the mainstream. That said, modern science is pretty advanced, and I would not recommend totally disregarding what the doctor says. My mom had cancer, and it looked pretty bad at one point and we thought she wasn't going to make it, but she had an operation and has been cancer free and healthy ever since (this was about 8 years ago). So it depends on the situation, and I'm not a doctor.

  • jbskaggsjbskaggs Posts: 647Member

    Yeah Cybereality cancer is weird and you can't really predict or control it. Genetics is an important aspect. Both my parents and almost all my uncles and aunts died from the same cancer I have. I did almost 2 years of chemo therapy FOLFOX and when that failed FOLFORI. My cancer ignored it and key growing. I have had half my large intestine and 2 ft of small small intestines removed. I currently have too many tumors to be counted easily- but I have them in my colon, lymph nodes, lungs, blood, and brain. The chemo also severely damaged and changed the shape and health of my heart, and now I go into an out of kidney failure every few weeks.

    I am on hospice now which means I no longer receive any therapy to cure disease only pain killers and thigs to help me enjoy my life to the fullest extent with what time I have left.

    With that said, I could maybe have year or several longer. I am very happy with my life and and enjoy my life.

    So I am still able to walk, exercise a little, cook, do a little wood working, and program and make art. I hang out with my goats, dogs, and family and all my kids are mostly grown. So I have a good life.

    In my programming I am able to stay productive with Godot and maybe Ill get some projects done that people will enjoy.

  • jbskaggsjbskaggs Posts: 647Member

    As far as fasting goes- yes I do that off and on. Fasting does have some really powerful healing properties. The longest I have fasted is 30 days.

    I also fast from negativity like politics, the news, and ugly evil things. I find by focusing on positive things and people I stay happier.

  • cyberealitycybereality Posts: 3,792Moderator

    I did a juice fast for 3 weeks one time. At first it seemed crazy to not eat for 3 weeks, but I was actually fine and felt great. I wouldn't do it all the time, but I definitely felt a lot healthier while on it and the time immediately afterwards.

  • jbskaggsjbskaggs Posts: 647Member

    Juice fasting is good. When your body goes into ketosis you get a lot of endomorphins and you feel better.

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